• Contemplating growing a beard? 

    You want a beard you need a beard.
    You’ve seen what beards can do
    The confidence, the joie de vivre
    But which beard is for you?

    French fork, Chin puff ?
    Cheeky Latin wedge?
    Soul patch, Neck muff?
    Thick bucholic hedge?

    Intellectual goatee beard?
    Cultivate the shrub
    Nautical, or boaty beard?
    Join the beardy club

    Surfy beard or folky beard?
    Fluffy pubic fuzz?
    Black, blond, ginger beard?
    Find the beardy buzz.

    Meet up with your beardy friends
    In a beardy bar
    Talk about a beardy band
    Name a beardy star

    Scratch a little, stroke a little
    Stroke a little more
    Twist and preen and plump and prod
    Yes, that’s what beards are for

    Look into the mirror
    See what you can do
    Who’s that bushy beardy bear?
    That beardy bear is you!

    Masculine believable
    Trustworthy and fun
    Wholesome, wise yet vulnerable
    Oh feel what you’ve become

    Now customise, accessorise
    Yes, strike a beardy theme
    A pipe? Perhaps, a Breton shirt?
    Go on; go on, some skinny jeans

    Now out, out, out into the world
    And execute your bearded plan
    Embrace your bearded destiny
    Become a bearded man!