Murray Lachlan Young
A moment for the Mo?
Murray Lachlan Young 26/11/013
A tribute to all those that have grown the mo for Movember. Gentlemen, I congratulate you.
A personal statement to prune and to clip
A curious growth on a chap’s upper lip
A thistly bristle to pucker the mistle
Or flyaway thing of the fluffiest fluff
Taken with snuff, worn in the buff
Mate to the beard, friend to the muff
Infusing the face with a masculine air
In filling a gap when a chaps lost his hair
Historically grown by the gayest Hussar
Mexican bandit and Swedish porn star
Subversively worn by the mauve intellectual
A badge of the biker and butch homosexual
Imperial, lampshade, toothbrush Sanchez
‘Neath bowler or beret or turban or a fez
The Christian the Muslim the Hindu the Jew
Yes a mans got to do what a mans got to do
Even agnostics and Gnostics agree
That it’s healthy to cultivate topiary
To be proving that most men are all really the same.
And the bro with the mo isn’t really to blame
So lets cast of the past of mustachio shame
And jump on the train and unskew the frame
And re light the flame to proclaim our aim
To reclaim the humble moustache from the:
Serial killers, bent coppers,
Pimps and second hand car salesmen,
Malevolent public servants,
Despots and dictators and
Suspect window cleaners,
And shady science teachers
That have given the tashe such a terrible name.
So let’s sprout em with vigour oer grimace and pout
Add weight to the boat race and take up the shout:
'Moustaches, tush-tashes, his-‘tashes, your-‘tashes,
Our-‘tashes, their-‘tashes, please-‘tashes, more-‘tashes
More mo, more mo.
Up, up and away we go
On with the show for the bro with the mo.
Let us grow, let us grow, grow the mo!
All the buzz from Murrays recent play The Incomers can be seen at:
Clarity and truth, through vernacular weights and measures
(for Shaun Keaveny, BBC 6 Music poem, 15th November 2013)
If a smudge is a third of a smidgeon
Then a smidgeon’s a half of a pinch
If a gnat’s is a tince of a whisker
Then touch is a teenth of a tinth
And a teeny’s a tenth of a tinsey
And a splash is a half of a nad
Then a jiffy’s a snadge of a Snicket
Then a dribble: a whiff of a tad
But a glug introduced to a guzzle
And a sniff of a drop in a drizzle
Or an oodle inside of a noggin
Can frazzle the flit of a fizzle
For the Spuntle held up to the bittock
The fanny full filling a flock
And a snippet, the speck of a sprinkle
Can flick at a lick of a lock
Then what of the dearth of the didgeon?
Of the modicum dink and the dod?
Will a smattering snaffle the scruple?
Or the blim to disappear in the blob?
The truth is both either nor neither
Nor maybe the jot in between
For the tittle must sit with the tipple
To weigh where a winsey has been
Then the blink may explain the iota
As a soupcon will answer the schmear
And the sparrow fart fit in the thimble
To proclaim that the truth is now clear
Magners 2013 TV advert: Now is a Good Time
Delighted to have worked with the creative team at Magners.
Listen again to Songs from Murray's acclaimed BBC Radio 4 series The Alien balladeer.
Murray sings the songs of some of those who walk the roads less travelled.
Now also available for your permanent enjoyment from:
Murray Lachlan Young on 6Music Breakfast
14th December 2012
A Poem for the Pope, in 140 Characters